The Mystery Ripper

AGFA Triple Ripper
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA
For the past three years, the American Genre Film Archive have hosted the AGFA Triple Ripper at the Mahoning.  For this, their fourth consecutive year on the lot, they've added a new twist to the night by keeping the titles to all three films a mystery.

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

Show poster designed by Andrew Kern

We were given hints on what each of the movies would be.

• Film #1 is a shocking Asian horror flick.
• Film #2 is a rare 80's punk / new wave raver.
• Film #3 features female barbarian badassery.

On Friday night, we learned that the third film of the night was going to be replaced due to an issue with obtaining the 35mm print, but the replacement would also be a barbarian film.  And, of course, all three movies would be shown from original 35mm prints.

I was joined in the front row by my friends Zack (and his pup Elvira) and Johnny.  Our friend Wayne stopped by in a getup that included a hot dog hat, a hamburger shirt, and baked bean socks with his trademark fish flip flops to show us his idea for a special concession item for the weekend.

AGFA always shows a lot of wild trailers and bumps at the Triple Ripper, including the bizarre Jaws 2 trailer that was hacked at some point by a random projectionist.  I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube at Triple Ripper II, so I didn't bother to film it again this year.  I did take a few pictures though that I've cropped and organized above.  The ones that caught my eye were a commercial for Chuck Wagon dog food for a promotion in which you could win your dog's weight in gold, a trailer for America 3000 which I own on VHS, and another trailer for a movie for a 1990 film called A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell which is a title that just begs to be seen.

One of the 35mm bumps was a commercial from the early 80's for a waterpark called Wet N Wild Waterworld in Anthony, TX.  This caught my eye for a few reasons.  First of all, this place is still in business today.  It's about 20 miles north of El Paso where I spent a few months when I was working for Nestle.  Second, a part of the commercial shows the arcade where you can see a Pac Man and Tempest cabinet with a Mata Hari pinball machine in the background.  Last but not least, I saw a digitized version of this same exact commercial while I was browsing on eBay for 35mm prints.  In fact, the seller still has it available as of the time of this write up.

 

Seems like a pretty cool place.

Anyway, onto the movies.

The first film was a truly bizarre Hong Kong wuxia flick from 1982 called Human Lanterns.  It's the story of a twisted lantern maker who works in secret to fan the flames of a feud between two martial arts experts while he captures the women in their lives to acquire the key ingredient in his award winning lanterns.  This was absolutely twisted from start to finish, and it might be the best movie that I've ever seen at an AGFA event.  It's definitely not for everybody, but if you're a fan of kung fu and Silence Of The Lambs, this is one you need to see.

There was a 35mm screening of The Flowers between the first and second films of the night.  This is a rare Dutch animated short from 1967 by Rupert van der Linden.  It's a surreal and beautiful cartoon.  I wasn't able to find a video of it anywhere online, so this might have been the only opportunity that I'll ever have to see it.

The second feature length feature of the night was a 1982 British concert film called Urgh! A Music War.  Seeing this on 35mm at the Mahoning was a pretty special experience.  I have pretty eclectic tastes in music but if I had to pick a single genre and period to call my favorite, it would be late 70's and early 80's new wave, which is exactly what this was.

This isn't a documentary... just one performance after another from performers like The Police, Wall Of Voodoo, Toyah Willcox, John Cooper Clarke, OMD, Chelsea, Oingo Boingo, Echo & The Bunnymen, Jools Holland, XTC, Klaus Nomi, Athletico Spizz 80, The Go-Go’s, Dead Kennedys, Steel Pulse, Gary Numan, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, Magazine, Surf Punks, The Members, Au Pairs, The Cramps, Invisible Sex, Pere Ubu, Devo, The Alley Cats, John Otway, Gang Of Four, 999, The Fleshtones, X, Skafish, Splodgenessabounds, UB40, and Klaus Nomi.  I had heard of this before, but never watched or listened to it, so it was pretty incredible to have had the opportunity to see it for the first time on 35mm at the drive-in.

The final movie of the night was the 1982 Lucio Fulci dark fantasy film Conquest.  This spot was originally meant to be for the 1984 Italian post-apocalyptic film She, but there was some issue with the print that caused it to be replaced.

I was getting a pretty drowsy by this point of the night, so I can't really give you much of an opinion or details on the plot other than to say that it's kind of a sci-fi/barbarian flick.  I'm going to have to circle back and check this out another time.

And that's a wrap on the AGFA Triple Ripper IV.  I've been to all four of these, and the only one that I think was better than this year's event was the first one from 2022.  All three of the films were enjoyable, and there were thankfully no uncomfortable movies like we had in the first film of last year's Triple Ripper.  I kind of like the mystery format that they did this year, and I hope they keep it going in 2026.

A Weird Night At The Drive-In

Wanna See Something Weird

Teenage Gang Debs / She Mob
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA
Friday night at the Mahoning was a tribute to Something Weird Video.

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

Show poster designed by Sarah Derr

Something Weird Video is a Seattle-based film distributor responsible for preserving countless numbers of exploitation films that probably would have been lost without their efforts.

Colonel and Sanders were both on the lot in the hours before the gates opened.

 

They apparently like rice and corn.  Gene and I fed them, and they took it right out of our hand.

I was not the only person wearing a Crazy Eddie shirt in the front row.

My outfit did not match some other folks in the front row who came dressed as Big Shim from She Mob.

The last song before showtime was a tribute to the great Rebekah Del Rio who passed away twelve days ago at age 57.  She was a guest of the Mahoning at the first Wild World Of David Lynch weekend in 2021, and a friend of projectionists Rob and Krista.  Since it was the 4th of July, Krista gave us sparklers to light up during this final song which was a recording of Ms. Del Rio singing The Star Spangled Banner from her appearance in the 2006 film Southland Tales.

There were dozens of awesome trailers shown throughout the night.  I didn't record all of them on video, but I took photos of the title cards to remember what trailers were shown so that I could look up the movies later.  I didn't catch all of them, but the video above is a slideshow of most of the title cards from the trailers.

I did have to catch the second half of this trailer for the 1972 Orgy Of The Living Dead triple feature, which consisted of The Murder Clinic from 1966 (aka: Revenge Of The Living Dead), Kill Baby Kill from 1966 (aka: Curse Of The Living Dead), and Malenka The Vampire's Niece from 1969 (aka: Fangs Of The Living Dead).  The triple feature was promoted with a guarantee from the producers that they would pay for any psychiatric care, or internment in an asylum, if you go mad from watching these films.

There's also a trailer for The Corpse Grinders, which moviegoers had to sign a Certificate Of Assurance that they wouldn't sue the theater "in the event of a coronary, insanity, or death suffered during and/or following" the screening.  I saw this movie at Schlock-O-Rama VIII last year.  It's a pretty good 70's schlocky horror flick, and I think you're pretty safe from suffering any ill effects.

Both of the movies that we got to see on Friday night were projected from the only 35mm prints of these films that are known to exist in the world today.

The first movie of the night was the 1966 film Teenage Gang Debs, and it's a contender for the cheesiest movie that I've ever seen on the big screen at the Mahoning, and its tied with Teen Witch for having the cheesiest soundtrack with two absolute bangers: Black Belt and Don't Make Me Mad.  Even if you don't want to watch the whole movie, I implore you to watch the song and dance scenes.  The level of cringe is off the charts.

This is the story of a teenage girl named Terry who moves with her family from Manhattan to a neighborhood that is the turf of a street gang called The Rebels.  Terry weasels her way into the gang by hooking up with its leader (and getting his current "deb" kicked out of the gang), then orchestrating his murder by another gang member who she hooks up with who then assumes leadership of the gang.  Her manipulative behavior of The Rebels and of rival gangs lead to several acts of violence, which are frequently interrupted by bizarre song and dance numbers, until the rest of the debs in the gang finally grow tired of her crap and take action against her.

Teenage Gang Debs is a fun movie to watch, but it by no means a good movie.  It reminded me a bit of a lower budget and tamed down version of Switchblade Sisters.  If you're into weird movies like I am, this is a must-watch, but it's not the kind of thing that folks who stick to mainstream movies are going to enjoy.  It's available to stream on Tubi.

 

The second half of the Something Weird double feature was a cult classic from 1968 called She Mob.  This movie lived up to the pre-show hype and then some!  It starts off with the most ridiculous sex scene in the history of cinema between a gigolo named Tony and his wealthy patron Brenda.  Seriously... you have to see this.  Even if you have no intention of watching the rest of the movie, this scene is so absurd that no words could do it justice.  He's essentially humping her shins in a bathtub while she makes sounds like a jungle animal, and it is hysterically funny.

The next scene takes us to the hideout of a criminal mastermind named Big Shim and her gang.  Big Shim is instantly one of my favorite characters in movie history.  She's a tough bitch who wears a spike pointed bra and says "I'll show you that my tits are as hard as my heart" before pulling a man towards her to use the bra to stab him in the chest.  I mean... how the hell can you not want to see that!

Big Shim has three members in her gang:  Baby, Twig, and Sweetie.  Shim broke all three of them out of prison.  Baby has become her sex slave, but the other two have grumbled to their leader that they are starved for male attention.

Shim knows Tony and calls him to come over to provide his services, but Tony foolishly lets it slip that he is staying with a wealthy woman.  This gives Shim the idea to hold him hostage until Brenda pays a ransom of $100k.  Unfortunately for Shim, Brenda decides to hire "Sweety East, Girl Detective" to get her man back.

This is a 60's low budget masterpiece!  If you're into bizarre movies, I'd recommend that you put She Mob at the top of your list of must-see films.

And that's a wrap on what I hope will be the first annual Something Weird night at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.  This night was right up there with Schlock-O-Rama IX as one of the most fun events of the season so far.  Lisa Petrucci was in attendance and she seemed to have a great time.  I hope she comes back next year and that this becomes a regular part of an AGFA weekend on the lot.

Talk To Me, Goose

Top Gun

Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA

This week's Thursday Thread-Up is an American classic that hit the big screen on the evening of Independence Day.

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

Show poster designed by Tom Bifulco

There was a pretty bad hailstorm that hit the area in the hours before the gate opened, but thankfully it cleared up by 6:30 and it was beautiful for the rest of the night.

Top Gun premiered about six weeks before my sixth birthday and was a massive success, but I didn't see it for the first time until roughly 35 years after it premiered.  I'm not a big fan of Tom Cruise, particularly when he's cast as an action hero, and there's no genre that I have less interest in than military films.  The only war movie that I've ever seen that I really loved was Inglourious Basterds.

I saw Top Gun for the first time at home during the pandemic in an effort to catch up on some of the modern classics that I hadn't seen yet.  It was better than I expected, but I wouldn't say that I loved it.  My opinion on it after having seen it on the big screen really hasn't changed much.  It's an enjoyable film overall, but half of its appeal for me is its use of music.  I'm glad to have had the opportunity to spend a night at the drive-in seeing it on the big screen, but I can't see myself wanting to see it for a third time.

The more I learn about this country's past, and seeing where it is today and where it appears to be going in the future, I don't see that we have very much that's worth celebrating.  At least we have the drive-in where we can relax, enjoy some films with friends, and forget about the horrible things that are taking place at the moment, if only for a few hours.

Are You Gonna Bark All Day Little Doggie, Or Are You Gonna Bite?

Michael Madsen
1957 - 2025
Actor Michal Madsen passed away today at age 67.  His career spanned forty years with a filmography that includes War Games, The Natural, The Doors, Thelma & Louise, Straight Talk, Free Willy, Wyatt Earp, Species, Mulholland Falls, Donnie Brasco, The Hateful Eight, and Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, but I'll always remember him best as Bill's brother Budd in Kill Bill, and his iconic performance as Mr. Blonde in Reservoir Dogs.

The Death Of An Iconic American Restaurant

Cracker Barrel
Schuylkill Mall Road - Frackville, PA
We stopped here for dinner on my birthday.  I've always enjoyed this place.  I'm not generally a fan of the country aesthetic, but this chain had a very pleasant atmosphere.  The dark colors and dim lighting are especially appealing to me in a world where businesses seem to want everything to be lit up like an airport food court.  The antique tools and advertisements hanging on the walls gave the place a unique feel, and the fireplace is very inviting, especially when we're seated near it on a cold winter's night.  The delicious and uncomplicated homestyle dinners fit right in at a place like this.

Unfortunately, the charm of Cracker Barrel is on borrowed time.  Their new CEO apparently feels like the defining characteristic of the chain is a problem that is responsible for their downward trend in sales.  They've started remodeling their restaurants to look like the one in this photo which was shared by the chain to give customers an idea of what their local restaurant will look like when they are remodeled.  Everything that felt special and homey about the place has been eliminated.

Thankfully, the Cracker Barrel that's closest to home for us has not yet been gutted, so I took a few photos of the place while it's still the cozy and comfortable place that we've always loved.  I can't imagine that we'll be visiting very often when this changes.

It was cool while it lasted.  Only thing we can do is enjoy it while it's still here before it becomes yet another business who outsmart themselves and eliminate the thing that made them special in the first place in what will very likely be their final years.

Level 45

Time really does feel like it goes by faster as you get older.  I'm 45 years old today, and it's absolutely blowing my mind.  I feel like I had just turned 25 yesterday.

I'm breaking tradition this year by not going to a ballgame on my birthday.  Frankly, the cost of going to a Phillies game has reached a point where I have a difficult time justifying it anymore.  It worked out well, especially since tonight's game was postponed due to rain before it even got started.  We went to the Lehigh Valley Zoo instead and stopped for dinner at Cracker Barrel on the way home.