The Next Time You Pull A Razor On Me, You Better Shave

Cleopatra Jones / Black Belt Jones

The Gap Theatre - Wind Gap, PA
The Mahoning is playing the same Disney double feature tonight that they played yesterday, so it became the perfect opportunity to head out to The Gap for a 35mm double feature of blaxploitation classics.

We had tickets to see The Church on their stop at The Colonial Theater for their 2025 North American Tour, but the whole tour has been postponed to 2026.

The first film of the night was the 1973 Jack Starrett film Cleopatra Jones.  The title character, played brilliantly by actress Tamara Dobson, is a badass secret agent who fights to take down international drug cartel, and the corrupt cops who work for them.

This is a fantastic movie.  It's a perfect balance of action and camp with a memorable cast of characters.  Shelly Winters is over the top in all the right ways in her role as the drug lord, Mommy, and Antonio Fargas is equally great as one of her underlings, Doodlebug.  Bernie Casey is also featured in this film as Cleopatra's lover Reuben Masters.  His character is in charge of a place called the B&S House where drug addicts can come to detox and to participate in meetings to ensure that they stay clean.  I'll always know Bernie Casey best as the teacher in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, but I just saw him in a starring role a couple of months ago when Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde was screened as the second feature of Schlock-O-Rama IX at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.

I'd strongly recommend this movie to anyone who enjoys fun action films, regardless of their appreciation for the blaxploitation genre.

The second half of the double feature was the 1974 Robert Clouse film Black Belt Jones.  This movie is classified by the vast majority of fans and critics as blaxploitation because of its largely African American cast, but I think it could better be described as a fantastic American kung-fu film.

The title character is played by kung fu legend Jim Kelly, who is probably best known for his role alongside Bruce Lee in another Robert Clouse film, Enter The Dragon.  In this film, he comes to the defense of a karate dojo run by Pop (Scatman Crothers) when they become a target of the mob who wants to acquire the dojo because they learned that the land is going to skyrocket in value due to an upcoming civic center.

This film has become a cult classic in the decades after its release, and for good reason.  It's one of the most entertaining kung fu flicks that I've ever seen.  I'm not sure if it would have as wide of an appeal to a casual audience as Cleopatra Jones, but if you're a fan of kung fu, Black Belt Jones is a movie that cannot be missed.

And that's a wrap on tonight's double feature at The Gap.  They screened two other blaxploitation films after this one with Tough at 10:00 pm and Hangup at midnight.  They showed the trailer for Tough before Cleopatra Jones, and it looked more like an ABC Afterschool Special than a movie that I'd have any interest in seeing.  If they showed Hangup at 10:00 instead, I would have stayed, but I headed out after Black Belt Jones.

Opening The Vault Again

Walt's Animation Vault II: Beauty And The Beast / The Lion King
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

August at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater kicked off with a double feature of Disney animated classics from the 90's.

The first movie of the night was the 1991 film Beauty And The Beast.  This was my first time seeing it, and while it's not the kind of thing that I'd ever pick off of a shelf to watch at home, I'm glad that I had the opportunity to see it on 35mm at the drive-in.  It's a cute story and I can see why it was such a massive success.

The second film of the night was Disney's 1994 blockbuster The Lion King.  This movie is a blatant plagiarism of Kimba The White Lion, but that's nothing new for an animation studio that has been seemingly bankrupt of original ideas since it put itself on the map by adapting Grimms' Fairy Tales to the big screen.  Don't get me wrong, it's a very good plagiarism with an excellent soundtrack, but it is what it is.

All snark aside, The Lion King is a fun movie.  It premiered in theaters a few weeks shy of my 14th birthday.  I didn't see it on the big screen back then.  In fact, I don't remember when I saw it for the first time.  I never owned the VHS and I can't remember seeing it while visiting friends or family, but I know that I saw it when I was a teenager and I enjoyed it.

For the second straight weekend, we had clear skies for a movie that has a scene that takes place under the night sky.  I love when this happens.  For just a brief moment, it looks as if the movie has extended beyond the screen.

Hey Mr. Donut Man, Who's Trying To Kill Ya?

Waynestock: Wayne's World / Wayne's World 2
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

This is an event that I've been looking forward to since last summer.  I spotted Virgil wearing a Waynestock t-shirt on the lot a few days after Fabio Frizzi and his band performed a live score to Zombie on the lot, and I asked him when we were going to see Waynestock at the Mahoning.  I was just kidding, but he smiled and said that it's in the works for 2025, and that the plan is to have live music before a screening of Wayne's World and Wayne's World 2.

As if the live music and the double feature weren't awesome enough, Razorfly Studios brought out their 1976 AMC Pacer hatchback to the lot which has been built into a screen accurate replica of Garth Algar's car, The Myrthmobile.

Other references to Wayne's World could be found throughout the lot.

The timing of this event was right to bust out the Ozzy prayer candle that I got at the Jones Beach show from his final tour in 2018.

 

It was used as the centerpiece of Del Preston's Band Rider Contest, where fans were invited to guess the number of brown M&M's in a jar, and to separate the other M&M's by color for each of the bands that played at Waynestock.

The Godzilla-Palooza photo op was modified for the stage where the Waynestock bands played.

Jeremiah Tall

Dracula And His Band: The Draculas

Smother Nature

Lapses

Sun Bus

Jeremiah Tall is a folk rock artist with a cool vibe.  Smother Nature has a mid 90's rock sound that I enjoyed.  Lapses is synth rock that's right up my ally and reminded me of playing Out Run in the arcade when I was a kid.  Sun Bus had an excellent surf rock set to close out the night of live music.

I enjoyed all of these bands, but there was one band who absolutely stole the show.

Dracula And His Band The Draculas performed an incredible set of horror inspired punk rock.  YouTube user koswill414 recorded a bit of their time on stage.  I wish I recorded the whole thing.

 

Wayne's World is one of my favorite movies from the 90's and a very happy childhood memory.

The Palm Beach Post - February 14, 1992

I moved to South Florida to live with my dad, stepmother, and stepsister on New Years Day 1992.  It was a pretty big deal for me; new home, new state, new school, new everything.  One of the first things that I remember the four of us doing as a family was going to see Wayne's World at a movie theater called Cinema N' Drafthouse, which was a hybrid restaurant and movie theater that was very much like the similarly named Cinema And Drafthouse in West Hazleton where we go to see The Amish Comic every year.  It was a fun night, and we spent the next several months quoting lines from the movie at each other.

There's nothing quite like a warm night at the Mahoning under a cloudless sky.  There's hardly any light pollution in the area, so you can really see a lot of stars on a clear night.  Sometimes, the night sky feels like an extension of the film, like this scene with Wayne and Garth laying on the windshield of the Myrthmobile looking up at the stars.

 

As much as I love Wayne's World, I strongly dislike its sequel.  I haven't seen Wayne's World 2 since it was on the new release wall at Blockbuster Video when I was a teenager.  I didn't like it the first time I saw it, but I tried to go into this screening with a fresh set of eyes in the hopes that seeing it on the big screen would give me a new perspective and appreciation for it.  That didn't happen.  If anything, I dislike Wayne's World 2 more today than I did 32 years ago.  Most of the humor is a carbon copy of the first film, with the occasional lazy and unfunny movie parodies padding out the runtime.

There's only two things about this movie that I liked, but both of them were pretty much abandoned halfway through the movie.  The first is the character of Del Preston who starts off strong, but he quickly gets reduced to a background character in lame skits like the roadie boot camp with Chris Farley's groan-worthy "I've got no place else to go" parody.  The second thing this film was the subplot of the record label executives plotting to split Cassandra off from the rest of Crucial Taunt.  We see this in a phone conversation between Bobby Cahn and Frankie Sharp and in a conversation between Bobby and Cassandra, but it ends up getting completely overshadowed by the rehashed love triangle schtick that completely wastes the talents of Christopher Walken by casting him in practically the same role as Rob Lowe in the first film.

It's not quite as terrible as Airplane 2 or Caddyshack 2, but there's other way to say it: Wayne's World 2 sucks.  Still, it couldn't ruin an incredible Waynestock at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.

King Kong vs Godzilla

King Kong vs Godzilla-Palooza
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

Show poster designed by Jason Cortez

This weekend marks the fourth Godzilla-Palooza at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.

 

Wes and Sara created an excellent photo op on the stage outside of the concession building.  It included an 8 foot tall King Kong and Godzilla, the latter of whom breathed smoke and roared, and an excellent backdrop featuring artwork by Andrew Kern.

The stage also lit up at night with a red glow that made it look like the city was on fire.

Night One - Friday, July 25

King Kong / Godzilla / Mothra vs Godzilla

Night Two - Saturday, July 26

King Kong vs Godzilla / King Kong Escapes / Godzilla vs Biollante

The Prince Of Darkness

Ozzy Osbourne
1948 - 2025
One of the legends of heavy metal, and of rock music in general, passed away from Parkinson's Disease today just seventeen days after his farewell performance in Birmingham.  He was 76 years old.

I Don't Want To Change The World
Ozzy Osbourne (1991)

Standing at the crossroads, world spinning round and round

Know which way I'm going, you can't bring me down

Don't you try to teach me no original sin

I don't need your pity for the shape I'm in

I don't want to change the world

I don't want the world to change me

Tell me I'm a sinner, I've got news for you

I spoke to god this morning and he don't like you

You're telling all the people the original sin

He says, he knows you better than you'll ever know him

I don't want to change the world

I don't want the world to change me

You know it ain't easy

You know it ain't fair

So don't try to please me

Because I really don't care

Don't tell me stories 'cause yesterday's glories

Have gone away, so far away

I've heard it said there's a light up ahead

Lord I hope and pray, I'm here to stay

Tell me I'm a sinner, I've got news for you

I spoke to god this morning and he don't like you

Don't you try to teach me no original sin

I don't need your pity for the shape I'm in

I don't want to change the world

I don't want the world to change me

The Italian Master Of Terror

Quattro Film Di Dario Argento
Suspiria / Inferno / Phenomena / Opera

The Gap Theatre - Wind Gap, PA

There's no filmmaker that I'm more interested in studying than Dario Argento.  Every film of his that I've had the opportunity to see has absolutely fascinated me.  I can't claim that I understood all of them as fully as a more experienced giallo fan, but every film of his that I've seen has made me want to see it again.  This quadruple feature was an opportunity to do just that.

Photo by Sergio Valentino

Rosalie Kicks and Benjamin Leonard from Movie Jawn were on hand to sell merch and copies of their excellent zine.  If you haven't read their work yet, I highly recommend it.  Check out their interview with Harry Guerro, the co-founder of Exhumed Films and head dude in charge of The Gap.

Photo by John Wheatman

The front row crew at the Mahoning has become the back row crew at The Gap.  I was joined in this screening by John, Dave, and Mike in the back row of the theater.

Photos by Sergio Valentino

It's a little difficult to see, but that back row against the wall in between the two exits is one of the premium spots at The Gap.  The seats seem to be a bit cushier than the rows in front, and there's a ton of leg room.

 

Photo by Sergio Valentino

Photo by Sergio Valentino

The night kicked off with the 1977 film and the first film of Argento's Three Mothers Trilogy, Suspiria.  I saw this movie for the first time three years ago at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.  It's a stunning film that overwhelmed my senses like nothing else that I had ever seen before.  For as much as I enjoyed it the first time that I saw it, I was able to understand and appreciate it on a deeper level on this second occasion.

Photo by Sergio Valentino

Next up was the second of The Three Mothers Trilogy; the 1980 film Inferno.  This is another movie that I saw for the first time three years ago at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.  I had less trouble keeping up with the plot last night than I did on the first occasion that I saw it, but it was still challenging.  It was my least favorite movie of the four that we got to see last night, but it's definitely worth seeing.

Photo by Sergio Valentino

The third film of the night was the 1980 giallo classic, Phenomena.  This was my first time seeing this film in its original, uncut form.  I had seen the American cut (Creepers) when it was screened on 35mm during Mondo Argento at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.  Although I loved Creepers, I learned from other folks on the lot that it was butchered by its American distributors who cut the film down from 116 minutes to 83 minutes and changed the order of several scenes.

The 35mm print of Phenomena that we saw at Quattro Film Di Dario Argento was the full 116 minute uncut film in Italian.  Harry told us during the third intermission that the film that we just watched is a few seconds longer than the uncut version that had been released on Bluray.  The print didn't have subtitles, but the team at The Gap synced up a separate projector to add the subtitles to the film.  The end result was flawless.  I never would have known that the 35mm print didn't have the subtitles if they didn't tell us.

For as much as I enjoyed Creepers, Phenomena was on another level.  This film is a masterpiece, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to see it on 35mm.

Photo by Sergio Valentino

The last movie of the night was the 1987 film Opera.  This was the last movie screened at Mondo Argento in 2022, but both my wife and I were pretty tired and we left the drive-in during the second intermission, so last night was my first time seeing it.  It's an excellent murder mystery film that I'd recommend to anyone who likes that sort of thing, but be prepared to be disturbed.

Photo by Sergio Valentino

And that's a wrap on Quattro Film Di Dario Argento at The Gap Theatre.  I apologize for the lackluster writeups on the films.  I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not nearly as good of a writer as my loved ones have led me to believe, and that is never more evident than when it comes to writing about movies that I've seen.  I can't really explain why I like the movies that I like, and I get frustrated when the thoughts I want to express just aren't coming together.